


You should be here

by AssumeEveryoneWithASwordIsQueer



Series: Just wild knights defying the world [5]
Category: Arthurian Mythology
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28576944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssumeEveryoneWithASwordIsQueer/pseuds/AssumeEveryoneWithASwordIsQueer
Summary: Letters from one lost boy to another.
Relationships: Galahad/Mordred (Arthurian)
Series: Just wild knights defying the world [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009782
Kudos: 7





	You should be here

**Author's Note:**

> *Rating is solely to be safe
> 
> "Everything's just right... except for one thing. You should be here, standing with your arm around me here... This is one of those moments that's got your name written all over it, and if I had just one wish, it'd be that you didn't have to miss this.. They say now you're in a better place, and I would be too if I could see your face"- you should be here by Cole Swindel.  
> Me coming up with Galadred angst because of a country song on my dad's radio? More likely than you think.

**_Dear Galahad,_ **

**_This is so ridiculous, but my brothers, the physician and about a million other people who can't mind their own business told me to so here I am, writing to a ~~my dead lover~~ a dead man. But no, you're not dead, they haven't found your body. We don't even know if you ran away. I refuse to believe I lost you to some stupid faerie trap. And you aren't a man, we aren't even twenty yet. ~~How are we that old, it's like we were five and best friends yesterday~~ We were barely teens when destiny got ahold of us. We're barely knights! And you aren't just my friend either, you ~~were~~ are the person I love more than anything and you might be gone forever because I don't know how to put my foot down. I guess the Universe really does hate Camelot and everyone here._ **

**_Anyway, it's perfect outside, almost like that God you love so much let me decide on our weather. I don't usually like when there's no rain, but today we have light grey clouds covering the whole sky with sunlight still busting through, and I'm enjoying it quite a bit. It's horrifyingly beautiful. Reminds me of us, actually. It is one of those scenes you never forget, that you just have to stop there to take in the sight of. You love stuff like that. You would be enjoying it more than me, Gallie. Hey, for all I know, you might be, how would I know? It's funny how I just realized we never really wrote to each other. We never had to, we were always side by side. I'm cold now. Come home if you can. Until next time,_ **

**_Mordred._ **

**_Dear Galahad,_ **

**_You've been gone six months. Everyone says that you're ~~dead~~ gone, but I feel like the world would just stop if you left us. I refuse to give up. It was fine when you were missing for a week, but this is different. I know I haven’t written to you in a long time. My father took us to war against the Saxons, it’s going to be a very long war, but for now, we won. I don’t know how to tell you this, but Percival was killed._ **

**_We have a celebration going on for the victory his sacrifice brought us. Celebrations aren’t really my thing, but Gawain made me go. He says I need to get out more, that I’ve been sulking too long. Well, up his, he didn’t lose the one person who actually loved him._ **

**_I can say the food was good, so I’ll give them that. All the knights are here, like even the retired ones and a few squires that helped in the relief efforts. There were at least two hundred people there. The whole round table was there, and I haven’t seen some of them in what feels like forever._ **

**_Everything was just right, aside from just one thing. You weren’t there. Until next time, light of my life,_ **

**_Mordred._ **

****

**_Dear Galahad,_ **

**_It’s been two years since the last time my letters made any sense. And you, my love have been gone for almost three years now. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. The only thing that keeps me going is swinging my sword at my enemies and looking through all your old sketchbooks. I know you don’t like people looking through them, but I had no choice, Gareth says they’re just taking up space if I don’t do anything but let them sit there. There’s also the fact that I keep on telling myself to write these letters, so whenever and by whatever force you come back to me, we can read them together and laugh about how I was worried for no reason._ **

**_Things are such a mess in the kingdom and my world is slowly falling apart without you, Gallie. I can’t talk to anyone because no one here likes me, and two people still remember your name. Bors has never been the same and he starts screaming and crying when people bring up your quest. I’d talk to your father, but he hasn’t been the same since Galehaut died, and it was such a stupid way to die. I really don’t feel like getting into it._ **

**_You’d know, you always respected the stupid boundaries my family has left me with._ **

**_So I guess my point is that you should still be here, just standing with your arm around me or my arm around you. So I guess what I mean is everything here has your name written all over it, every moment, and nobody even remembers you._ **

****

**_Dear Galahad,_ **

**_It’s been five years and they found your body. Your perfectly preserved body that has been dead for five years. You looked alive, like you were sleeping, but I held your hand and you were so stiff and cold and like the coward I left. Couldn’t take it. It’s almost funny that my name means brave. You should still be here Gallie. I should have gone with you, or as much as we’d have hated it, refused to let you. We should be cracking our stupid jokes right now. It’s new year's day. You and I should be sipping our wine and saying cheers to another year past. Instead I’m alone writing and drinking myself dry in a corridor._ **

**_It’s so hard to believe you’re gone that I almost forgot. I stayed long enough to make a wish, and I wished that you didn’t have to miss this. The stars are so pretty. You always loved the stars. Remember when we made up the hawk and angel constellations. You named the Hawk after me, and I named the Angel after you. More than ever, I’m wishing we could go back to those days more than ever._ **

****

**_Dear Galahad,_ **

**_I know I haven’t written more than a few sentences, it has been rough, but it’s been ten years since you and me. At least it would be if you were still alive. You’ve been dead and buried for three years now. Sometimes I see your ghost, but he looks too sad to really be you Gallie. I can’t believe that I’m 27, and Gods, you’d be nearly 30 now. I finally went ahead and talked to Bors. He said you’re in a better place and asked how I was doing. I said my favorite word as you called it. “I’m fine”. I wish I could tell someone other than a piece of paper and altar that I’d be in a better place too if I could see your face one last time._ **

**_Things have been hectic. I caught your father with the queen. I don’t think he’s been quite the same since we lost you, either. My father went after him and I’ve been left as regent. Agravain and Dinadan are trying to help me turn the kingdom around before he gets back. I might become king, as wild as it seems, so I won’t write much of anything for awhile, Until next time,_ **

**_Mordred._ **

****

**_Dear Galahad,_ **

**_I did it. It’s been a long two years, but I did it. I’m going to kill my father. I won’t survive., but that’s the plan. Gallie, I’ve tried to live without you, but I can’t . Before it all went wrong, I would’ve gone to you and we would have fought together and it wouldn’t have taken this road, but I’ve been left with no choice. Bors was right, you really were the only thing holding Camelot together., however, it is only right that I spare you the details . Tonight there is a festival to celebrate a victory against the saxons, but in a few hours, I must gather my army. Tonight is the last night they will believe that I am still on their side. But the festival is beautiful and amazing._ **

**_You would love the music and dances, freaking out and pulling me onto the dance floor, smiling so bright it lights up the room. I know you’d be all about the right here right now of the moment. I don’t wish you would have to be here to see all the bad things happening and all the sins I’ve committed, but the small wonderful moments we still get every once in a while, so yeah, I just wish somehow you could be here. You should be here. I’ll be seeing you soon Gallie,_ **

**_Mordred._ **

****_  
  
_

**Dear Mordred,**

**I wish you could be here to see all the amazing sights on this quest. I’ll reach my destination soon, so I can only hope this reaches you , love. You should be here, we should be standing with your arm around me, because looking out at the stars, oceans, mountains and plains is something with your name written all over it. Until we meet again my dearest,**

**Galahad.**


End file.
